I’m going to play a game with you to see if you can guess
Just who I am describing as this poem does progress
Subtle — is not a word I’d necessarily choose
Funny — oh she certainly has a talent to amuse
Quiet — is not a word by which you’d recognise her
Calm — no, not even now she’s older and she’s wiser
Generous — certainly, that no one would dispute
Genteel? — she could bring the House of Lords to disrepute!
You’re standing quite politely sipping drinks at a party
When she decides it’s time, to get a little arty
No, ‘graphic’ is a better word to get the woman’s number
I can’t begin to say what she can do with a cucumber!!
When it comes down to what drink she likes, there can be no discussion
The way she knocks back vodka you’d have thought she was born Russian
This is certainly a woman, who likes her drink and food
And who likes to push the boundaries when it comes to being rude
Despite her constitution she’s not immune from being ill
Her morning after plaintive cry’s “I’m gonna be sick, Bill!!”
She’s a real party animal, the fun never ends
A true comedienne just like Joan Rivers, say her friends
For a holiday, no better travel companion could you choose
She’ll liven up your villa stay, your fly-drive or your cruise
But underneath the feisty, jocular exterior
There lies a heart of gold, a friend who’s no one’s inferior
Which is why, although at times, they drive each other round the bend
She really is greatly loved, by every single friend
We’ve all gathered here to witness, her reach a certain age
And in her book of life, to start a brand new page
In holding on to youth, she has been pretty thrifty
Which is why we can’t believe, that she could possibly be 50!
You can tell of course, in the fact, that she is now a gran
You could also guess her age by looking at her man!
But she’s really looking great and fifty’s the new thirty
So we hope she’ll just continue being funny and quite dirty!
And we want to wish her all our love, say “Happy Birthday Mandy!”
If being 50 gets too much be sure to keep the vodka handy!!
©Joanne Ross
December 2008
