Well, the first chemo session is over and, more importantly, the day after had gone well. Mum and Lou were with me yesterday afternoon for the first session and apart from the fear of the unknown, I have to say it really wasn’t too awful. Well if it was, I wasn’t given the time to think about it. Anyone who knows Lou knows that she can speak/laugh/joke without drawing breath for as many hours as necessary and even the nurse did more laughing than nursing.
That aside, all went very smoothly and Martin picked us all up at 5pm. Didn’t feel bad when I got home and went to bed around 10.30.
The night was a little challenging, but I’m pretty sure that was as much fear of the unknown than anything else. I awoke at just after 1am to a feeling of total panic. Felt like something was coursing around in my veins and suddenly understood the phrase “waves of nausea”. An odd feeling of sickness/faintness came over me in a wave and then departed. This went on only for 10 minutes. I realised I might be simply panicking, so took a few deep yoga breaths and it was over for good. I didn’t sleep well after that with my brain going ten to the dozen, so woke up feeling rather jaded.
Martin offered to stay at home with me and I took him up on his offer. After a nice lie in, tea and toast and a relaxing bath, not to mention the cocktail of anti-sickness drugs I’d been sent home with, we went for a nice walk up to St Katharine’s Dock and back. It was very therapeutic and I felt much better by the time we got back. I even managed to give myself the little bone marrow injection in my stomach – not bad for someone who doesn’t like needles.
Today was also made much more reassuring by the two calls I received from The LOC (Leading Oncology Care) centre where I’m being treated. The first was from one of the breast care nurses and the second from the chemo nurse who treated me yesterday. How was I? Any worries or concerns?
Last night, my feet had been unusually cold when I got in. I thought about it for a while and then decided to phone the out of hours emergency number just to check. I was called back within five minutes by the nurse I’d met on my pre-chemo visit. “Hi Joanne, what can I do for you?”. He said it was natural that I’d experience various changes in my body while I was going through chemo but to check in with them for reassurance if I was worried about anything.
When the breast care nurse phoned this morning she knew that I’d had cold feet last night. Very reassuring!
I had held out on cancelling the not one but two social engagements I’d had booked for today (why do things always come on the same day or not at all?) because I wanted to stay positive about how I would take to the treatment. There was a lunch with my colleagues at work and dinner and theatre with friends. But after last night I realised that I would be pushing it too far to do either of these today.
There’s going to be a fine line between keeping active and carrying on with life and pushing my body too far, and I’ll have to be careful to keep the right side of that line.
But so far so good. My favourite quote of the week came on a lovely card from my very old friends Pedro and Sarah. It said: “You have a bit of a battle ahead but just remember you have a massive army of friends to help you”! That army, which of course includes my wonderful family and husband (General Ross) has certainly galvanised in the past two weeks and between us, the enemy will most definitely be conquered!! My love and thanks to you all!!
